What chu gunna due...

 Vocation.  Purpose and provision.  Make a living and live a life.  Kind of important.  For me, its time to focus on it.
When I had an ordination meeting 1 guy wanted me to recite the 66 books of the Bible and to be very, very clear on the role I was called to fulfill for the rest of my life.  I think I satisfied him with the first question, but made him frown about the second one.  "I am called to help expand the Kingdom of God".
 "Missionary?  Senior pastor?  Counselor?  Make up your mind, son!"  Well, he wasn't that brash, but it does make for a better story; and it certainly is the story rattling in my head these days.  Is it too late to be a social psychology researcher studying why some guys contribute to the system with anxious and strident calls for anti-paradox?  If not, then I may be ready to answer your question, bruther.
 So, now that I'm coming out of the grieving phase of God blessing my prayers and giving me kids who are grown up and doing fine without me, it is time to get cleaned up and honed up once again.  Who am I and what am I supposed to do with my life?
 I have AT&T phone and internet, so one thing I know, I need money.  I have a wife and I live in a world where provision doesn't grow on trees, it comes through networks.  So, I need to get in a grove of networking and do something perceived as useful enough to get my share of resources.  Nothing mercenary about it, it's just part of mutual reciprocity, of belonging, of wearing my tribal colors.
 But even if someone bought me a winning lottery ticket I would still need more than provision, I need purpose.  I really enjoy watching soccer, but even if I was richer than Roman Abromovich, I would not find watching everyone else doing something enough.  I need to take the treasures God has invested in me and invest them in life.  I can't bury myself or hide my grace given light under an ikea container.  I gotta get on with life.
 So here comes the devil's domain; the details.  I fancy a shot at a couple of ventures here in the US, taking a break from living everywhere but here.  One is a church plant north of Austin.  "Where 2 or more are gathered" would become a frequent phrase for a while.  I would be jack of all trades.  I would have to act like an extrovert.  But, it would be exciting.  The trick is partly one of provision. If it all came together I would get some financial backing to get started from a few local churches.  The twist is I might get several pastors of those supporting churches each being my supervisor.  "Have you tried this..."  "I always find that...".  The idea of getting good ideas is great.  The idea of constantly disappointing at least one of several is a bit unhealthy.  Really not so sure about that.
 Another idea is pursuing a pastorate in a rather large church with a big staff and really likeable people.  Full time preaching.  I'd have to learn how to be funny, though.  And clear.  And practical.  I wonder if I'm up to the challenge?  I'd never get to use words like "phantasmagorphic".  The best I could hope for is working up to "cognitive-dissonance" as a familiar term for regulars.
 But, that might be o.k. right now.  I'd like to be indulgently peculiar, obfscating my messages on clarity and such.  But maybe being sane and accessible is o.k. too?