veiled

As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don't even trust my own judgment on this point. New Living Translation (©2007)

The most productive writing I've had is when I've been semi-anonymous.  It's not like a guarded secret, its just an intentional disregard.  I've tried to move my writing to a blog with my name, but that hasn't worked.  I don't write in order to have my writing affect my name (or my name affect my writing).  I write because I like ideas enough to spend some time with them.  I don't necessarily dislike myself, I'm just not interested in myself in the same way.

I taught last night, explaining why we were trying to break forms of gathering in order to deal more honestly with ideas.  But the forms held sway.  Then, when we ended, people opened up and talked for over an hour about everything meaningful the 'gathering' tried to foster.  So weird.

When I left, and when I woke, I wanted to leave religious meeting patterns.  Not for the first time, but more clearly than in a long time.  It is not that I'm against them, really.  I just don't seem to fit them very well.  Wish I understood this better.